Luck Deficit Disorder

Once upon a long time ago we were in the midst of a D&D campaign, one of the players was famous for losing characters. To be fair to him, they were all his fault. In this campaign he was going through characters pretty quickly, he'd rolled up six or so and the last one we pillaged a crypt and he'd pulled a necklace off of a remarkably well-preserved corpse. We were a ways down the hall when...

Gaming Loophole

Once upon a very long time ago (I was 14 or so) I was playing with a fairly new DM that let my character amass entirely too much power and swag. To counter this, he told me when I hit my next level he was going to take my character and retire it to demi-god status. I was a bit heartbroken, it was incredibly overpowered and badassed and what kid that age wouldn't want a character like that. I was...

Meteor What?!

One upon a long time ago, I was on a deployment and we were playing D&D one night to have a little fun and kill some time while we waited for the aircraft to return. I'm DMing and running an NPC in a wizard duel with a player, I go to throw the spell and brain-locked on the game. Finally I yelled out "Meteor Bukkake!" At least one double-nostril spray of mountain dew and I had a few minutes...

Fundamentalist Fans Can Fracture Fan Genres

There's something I've noticed over the years, fans of different genres like to look down on each other. Kevin Smith said words to the effect that a con is someplace to see Star Wars cosplayers look across the floor at Star Trek Cosplayers and call them a bunch of freaks. If you want a good look at the scrapping between these two fandoms, watch Fanboys. Does it in a pretty...

My Lifelong Battle Against the Chain-Mail Bikini

Back in about 1979 or so, in my teenage years, I found myself in the oddest of arguments with someone who’s name I can’t recall, but I do remember that he smoked mind-boggling amounts of marijuana. I can’t say he was a pothead or stoner, because quite frankly that just doesn’t capture the scope of the amounts he consumed. Cheech & Chong amounts. Damn, I went and got distracted again,...