If I were homeschooling.
8am: Why the hell am I up at 8am? Go color, we’ll call it art while I get some more sleep.
10am: “Don’t talk to me until my second cup of coffee. Go watch PBS.
11am: I am going to read stuff to you from the internet and explain why they are frigging dumbasses, we’ll call it current events.
Noon: Go eat something, and bring me a sammich. No, there is no sand in a sammich. Yuck.
noon:30: Nap time, lay down and be quiet. I have duct tape.
1pm: I don’t care what your teacher says, that ain’t math. I’m going to show you how to make coffee, we’ll call it Intro to Chemistry, coffee is a decoction. For bonus points, explain to me why the word decoction is funny. Don’t tell that one to your parents.
2pm: Intro to photography, This is a camera, it won’t magically produce money, it won’t get you laid. Oh yeah, you’re young. It isn’t a ticket to naps with friends. Three words and a phrase are important: shutter speed, aperture, and iso. The phrase to learn is “Where is your chaperon?”
3pm: Why are you still here?
© 2020, Tim Boothby. All rights reserved.