Goofing Off

The Railrodder

“…This short film from director Gerald Potterton (Heavy Metal) stars Buster Keaton in one of the last films of his long career. As “the railrodder”, Keaton crosses Canada from east to west on a railway track speeder. True to Keaton’s genre, the film is full of sight gags as our protagonist putt-putts his way to British Columbia. Not a word is spoken throughout, and Keaton is as spry and ingenious at fetching laughs as he was in the old days of the silent slapsticks.

Directed by Gerald Potterton – 1965…”

© 2020, Tim Boothby. All rights reserved.

Goofing Off

Plague Doctor

The incredibly talented Kimberly made me a plague doctor mask, and it is epic!

© 2020, Tim Boothby. All rights reserved.

Goofing Off

DIY Face Mask Tutorial With Kay

Props to a funny lady! 🙂

© 2020, Tim Boothby. All rights reserved.

Goofing Off Observations

Tim’s Cheat Sheet for dealing with dinks (clip and save):

Tim’s Cheat Sheet for dealing with dinks (clip and save):

“So you like [insert music group here] name 3 songs everyone doesn’t know.” – Answer: 1: You’re a dink. 2: Your mama dresses you funny. 3: You aren’t a gatekeeper for anything, get over yourself.

“The [insert sports team here] sucks, how can you like them?” Answer: Cool story bro, just needs sex (go fuck yourself).

“That isn’t in style!” Answer: Originality never is.

“Cosplay is silly!” Answer: So are your sex faces, doesn’t seem to stop you from jerking off in front of mirrors.

“How can you like [insert name here] they suck.” Answer: I like you, even if you get judgmental, so I guess I can like anybody.

“Aren’t you a little old to be doing that.” Answer: With age comes wisdom, give yourself some time. Lots of time.”

“I don’t understand [gay, straight, bi pan, poly, etc]” Answer: Unless you plan to try it out, you don’t need to understand it, just let them do their thing that doesn’t affect you at all, and mind your own business.

“Why are you such an asshole?” Answer: To fill the needs of the universe, the dumbasses are winning and I was sent to provide balance.

“Smells like shit!” (somebody trying to insult your friend’s cooking.) Answer: You should wash your upper lip before coming to eat.

“I don’t like [big, little, curvy, etc] women.” Answer: Dude, if your requirements go higher than walks upright and has a heartbeat, you’re in for a world of disappointment, because you’re no prize either.

© 2019 – 2020, Tim Boothby. All rights reserved.

Goofing Off

Rocky Mountain Oysters

I’ve seen people grossed out when I take a big bag of chicken livers, gizzards and hearts for bait when catfishing, and I batter up and fry half of it while I wait for the fish to bite. But, rocky mountain oysters are where I draw the friggin’ line.

From a conversation I once had on this:

Him: “You ever had rocky mountain oysters?”
Me: “Nope.”
Him: “What you reckon they taste like?”
Me: “Kinda nutty.”

© 2017 – 2020, Tim Boothby. All rights reserved.

Goofing Off The WTF??? Files

A Tip on Cows

A safety tip for city folk: Cow-tipping isn’t a thing. Seriously. If you run across a field to build up enough momentum and somehow manage to surprise a cow (good luck, they are more attentive than you’d think) when you hit the side of the large, heavy animal, you will bounce off of it and it won’t feel good. Then you have several hundred pounds of ambulatory beef and leather’s full attention. By the way, cattle can run.

Believe it or not there have been scientific studies on the subject, and from these come estimates that it would take about six full-grown males hitting a cow broadside to possibly stand a chance. To do that you’re have to find a very inattentive and solitary cow, because they tend to group up, herd mentality at it’s purest, just to watch out for things like predators and drunk humans looking to knock them on their asses.

No, I’ve never tried to tip a cow, watched a few try it. Didn’t go well for them. Especially the guys that found out bulls can be territorial as all hell and chased them back across a fence before they got halfway to the cows. I’ve been in cow pens for various legitimate reasons, and on one occasion I had a cow stand on my foot while I was reading numbers on ear tags to find one that needed to be tested for something or another. Pushing said critter did not shift it an inch, it just turned and looked at me and made a loud protesting call that wouldn’t be confused with the traditional ‘moo.’ I managed to get my foot out but my foot hurt like hell for a few days.

I have managed to jump on a couple for very short rides, two ran away and I came off, nothing to hold on to, the third, a young-ish bull, chased my young dumb ass all the way to the nearest fence and butted me over the fence just as I was starting a jump to hurdle it. I cleared the fence and landed in an undignified lump a good 15′ or so on the other side. Alcohol may have been involved >.>

So, no cow-tipping. Doesn’t work, you want to play with beef, get some hamburger and make patties.

© 2016 – 2020, Tim Boothby. All rights reserved.